


Inescapable Bond

by peranima



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Contract with the devil, Drama, F/M, Marriage, Unhappy marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peranima/pseuds/peranima
Summary: She makes a contract with Sebastian, they get married and over time things stopped being good. He's trying to figure out why and how to fix it.
Relationships: Sebastian Michaelis/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	Inescapable Bond

**Author's Note:**

> This was a stupid dream I had, a friend convinced me to write it into a story for her, so I did. Hope you enjoy it.

She was trapped, stuck, with a man who didn’t love her, a man that didn’t truly care for her. It was her own fault though. No, she didn’t think his behavior was her fault, he didn’t do anything to her, he treated her very well, in fact, like she was a queen. She blamed herself because she practically forced him into the relationship, into their marriage. It was all part of their contract. He was a demon, a devil, who had answered her pleas, her pathetic cries. Love her unconditionally, stay with her until the end of her life and never betray her. That was all she had asked of him. And after ten years, he was doing it all still. To those on the outside, they seemed like the perfect couple, he seemed like the perfect man. No, he was the perfect man, her ideal man. Everything about him, without him even trying, had been her ideal. Even if he didn’t do half of the things he did for her, he’d still be the perfect man. Except the love he portrayed wasn’t real. He told her from the start that he had never felt love like she wanted from him and would probably have trouble expressing it and that he’d never actually love her. He was incapable of it. At the time, she didn’t care, but now she did. It pained her that the man she so deeply loved didn’t feel the same. He was only with her because of some stupid contract, and when that was up, he’d move on to the next sad, desperate sap and not feel a hint of sadness at her passing. Being with her was like a simple blink of the eye, something that would pass by so quickly and be so menial in his life he wouldn’t think of it or her ever again.

So why didn’t she leave? Because she couldn’t, the symbols on their bodies, their “matching tattoos” as they so called them, bound them together. He knew where she’d be and he’d never let her leave. She was his and his alone for the rest of her life. He even refused to break their contract. Why, she’d never know. Breaking the contract meant he’d get her soul sooner and be rid of her, but he wouldn’t do that. It angered her that he wouldn’t and angered him that she’d even ask such a thing. It was one of the very few things he ever told her no over. Why? Why did he pick this one thing to refuse to do?

It was all of that mixed with her already glum state that spurned on the situation they were in. She had run off to hide during the party for her friend’s wedding. While everyone was distracted, she slipped away, but he could tell she was upset and followed after. He could tell she had been sad the entire day, despite the happy demeanor she was portraying. Everyone but him thought everything with her was perfectly fine, but he knew better. He chased after her hoping to comfort her, he really did hate seeing her so sad seeing her hurting. He wanted to help. Though what he was doing now wasn’t helping.

He had her pinned to the wall, holding her chin so she was forced to look him in the eyes. Now, he’d never dream of harming her, in fact this was the closest he’d ever gotten to being cruel to her. Sure, they’d argue, but what couple didn’t? Beyond that, he’d never purposefully harm her. But she was pushing him too far, the things she was saying, how she was acting…How could she possibly think any of that? Especially with everything he’s done for her. Did she really think that someone who spent as much time with another as they did that they wouldn’t eventually develop feelings too? He may have been a devil, but he wasn’t entirely heartless. It may not have been this “love” that humans felt, but it was some form of affection, affection for a devil such as him could feel. Couldn’t she understand that? He was doing his best, trying to give her everything she could possibly ask of him, he showed her that human love she sought, even if it wasn’t true. So why wasn’t it enough? Humans were never pleased…But he was trying to figure out how to give her what she was lacking, what else she wanted. But he was failing miserably at it. If only she wasn’t so difficult, if only she’d simply tell him.

“I don’t know why you’ve suddenly started acting this way but I’m over it.” he glared.

“I’ve told you why. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love me.”

“You didn’t care before. The last ten something years you haven’t. Why is it an issue now?” he could have worded that better. Even to him it sounded like he was saying he held no sort of love for her.

“I don’t get why you’re insisting on staying in this stupid contract. I keep telling you I want to break it. So just eat my soul or whatever you do so we don’t have to keep wasting our time.”

“And I’m not going to let you break it.” he growled. Why? Why was he so insistent on staying in this contract? Normally, when someone wanted out or broke it, he’d devour them immediately, so why was he being so hard headed about it? Sure, he was fond of her in his own way, but he had been for several others that he had no problem killing.

He smirked at her, despite what was going through his head, the thoughts of affection he did have for her, he was still angry, he wasn’t feeling nice. “Remember, the only way to get rid of me is to either die, which I won’t let happen until it’s naturally supposed to, or you fall out of love with me.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb while looking at her almost smugly. “ And I’m afraid you’re still madly in love with me and quite healthy and alive, my dear.”

She couldn’t say a thing, she was still crazy in love with him, it was quite obvious too. But he didn’t have feelings for her…He was just toying with her. She knew this, why else would he bother staying with her?

“You’re so unfair.”

“You’re the one being unfair. I’m giving you everything you asked for and more and more ad you’re still going to act like this?”

“You’re not giving me the most important thing.”

“I am giving it to you.” He hissed, squeezing her chin tighter, ‘You’re simply being greedy and wanting more. I don’t understand why you can’t be happy with what you’re getting. Stop being a selfish, whiny bitch and enjoy all this while it lasts.”

She didn’t say anything, glare, look angry or upset. All she did was blankly stare at him. While he hadn’t said anything too terrible, her already fragile state made what he said way worse than it was. She was hurting even more than before. He knew it, he even felt a sense of guilt for it, but he wasn’t going to apologize.

“Now, those annoying photographers are coming to take our picture. Do try to at least pretend to be happy for the pictures so your friend doesn’t worry when she sees them.”

No sooner did he finish, the two photographers, a man and woman duo, came down the hall towards them.

“We’re not interrupting anything , are we?” the woman smiled playfully.

“Not at all.” He forcefully smiled back at her, finally releasing his hold on his wife. He could tell she wanted to run away, but she wouldn’t. She was going to stay and get her picture taken for her friend.

And she did just that. Wrapping their arms lovingly around each other, they smiled brightly for the camera. Once the pictures were done, they quietly made their way back to the party and took their seats. Though it wasn’t long before her friend drug her out onto the dance floor. He sat there and watched the people joyously parade around, he watched her, the woman who was his wife, smile and dance around. Everyone around her thought she was happy and having a good time. What fools they were. She was absolutely miserable. He knew that, he could easily tell she was. Sure he could sense it, but he knew her too, truly knew her. He had studied her face, eyes, the way she moved and acted for years, so of course he could tell. Everyone else always took her at face value, never bothering to actually get to know her. She had very few friends because of that, which was why she was putting up with and staying at the reception. She didn’t want to ditch one of her only friends like that.

Still, he didn’t understand why she didn’t just leave. She made her appearance, she stayed awhile, so she shouldn’t feel guilty about leaving. Then again, she was still bothered and hurt by him, she probably didn’t want to be left alone with him. Not that he’d bother her if that were the case.

…but why was she so hurt? That was something else he didn’t understand. She had been fine up until she saw her friend and her now husband up on the alter, until they read their silly vows. Was it the vows? When they had gotten married, they agreed not to write any. They didn’t know one another well, after all, so they didn’t see a point in it. Was she regretting that? No…she wouldn’t get upset about something like that. Was it something they did or said while up there? Had she realized how much of a sham this marriage actually was?

A sham…He didn’t think that, did he? He took every last bit of their marriage seriously. In a way, he could even say he enjoyed it. Playing house, being a husband, it was something new to him. In all the centuries living it’d been something he had never done. He liked it, he liked being with her. Maybe she really was simply done with him, maybe he was saying she loved him because he wanted her to…Why did he want her to? If she broke the contract or kept going with it, he’d get her soul. Either way he’d win. So why did this really matter to him?

While he was thinking, she had made her way back to the table, much to his surprise. With what happened earlier, he was sure she’d avoid him for the rest of the night. They didn’t speak, but he found some strange comfort in having her beside him. Maybe things weren’t hopeless between them. As the night went on, she seemed to relax a little, though her sadness didn’t vanish. She even danced with him for a few songs, though her friend had pressured her to do that. Beyond the dancing, they didn’t speak. Even on the way home and when they got there. She went straight up to their bedroom and holed herself up in it. Instead of going after her again to attempt to talk, he sat down and turned a movie on. It was nothing he was interested in, but it filled the silence.

Still, what was wrong with her weighed on his mind. Despite what she thought, he did care about more than just getting her soul. He truly did want her to be happy. With him there, she wasn’t. But he couldn’t leave, they were bound together in more ways than one. If only he could understand just what she wanted. He wanted to give it all to her.

As the movie played, he noticed the little things it showed the couples doing. Cooking together, eating meals with one another, playing games and watching movies together, falling asleep in each other’s arms…Those were all things they’d do together. They used to do it all the time.

Used to.

When was the last time they actually sat and ate together? Sure, he didn’t need food, but he’d at least sit there and keep her company. But it had been months since he sat with her. They used to cuddle up on the couch and play games or watch stupid movies like this one together, but he couldn’t even remember the last time they did that. He used to hold her until she fell asleep, not every day, but most days times he did. Sleep was a luxury for him, he didn’t need it, so he never slept. As soon as she fell asleep, he’d leave her. He never stayed through the night, she never woke up with him next to her. Not a single time in all the years they’d been together.

Was that why? Not just falling asleep together, but a mix of everything, was that what was getting to her? Was she feeling neglected and unwanted because he stopped doing things like that? It wasn’t as if it was a difficult thing to do or that it was unusual for couples to do them. Even if he’d put forth a little more effort to talk to her, that’d probably help a lot. He had to do something, he didn’t want to lose her any more than he already had.

Since she was already lying in bed, he decided he could start there. He could at least lay with her until she fell asleep, get up and come back before she woke up. Then tomorrow try more.

He stood and made his way to their bedroom, the door was closed but he walked right in. he knew she’d still be awake, she never fell asleep so early. Sure enough, she was. She was lying on her back watching something on her phone. She glanced at him.

“What do you want?” she asked, looking back at her phone.

“Nothing.” He smiled softly and climbed into the bed. He laid his head on her shoulder and peeked at what she was watching. Not any surprise to him, it was another video on a game. He didn’t understand how she could watch those, but they made her happy so he didn’t question it.

“I’m not doing it with you so leave.” She said, trying to shrug him off.

“I didn’t come in here for that. Why would you even think that?” he asked, slightly insulted.

“Maybe because you only come in here for that.” She snapped.

He couldn’t say a thing. She was right. He never came into bed just to lay with her anymore. It was only for one thing. In his defense though, she always enjoyed it. Or used to at least. As much as he hated to admit it, the last few times, she didn’t get in to it. In fact, the last time they did it, he stopped before either of them finished. He found it hard to keep going when she lifelessly laid there staring at the ceiling. The more he thought about it all, the more he realized how bad things had gotten. It really was no wonder she kept feeling the way she was. He truly was failing at everything. Not only that, but she remembered everything he told her when they first met. How he’d essentially be faking everything, how he’d never love her. As soon as he started to show her less affection and attention, she thought of it all right away. Who could blame her? They had been in a blissful state of fake for so long it became the norm, they both believed it. It was a shock to her when things stopped and a shock to him when she reacted to it. neither of them saw it coming, which was stupid on both their parts.

He had to be better. While he didn’t love her, or at least didn’t think he did, he did care for her greatly. It was hard not to. After he got to know her, he couldn’t help but fall for her, to care for her. He truly hated seeing her so sad, hurting so badly. And it was all his fault.

“I’m not in here for that this time.” He insisted, staying right on her.

“Then what do you want?” she sounded aggravated.

“Nothing, really. Just to see you.” He answered.

“You saw me all day.”

“Well, I want to see you more.”

She said nothing and went back to watching her video. He remained silent and watched with her. But she was in a bad mood, she didn’t want him anywhere near her. She turned the video off, threw the phone on the table beside the bed and got on her side, back to him.

“I’m going to sleep. Turn the light off when you leave.”

He glared at her back. She was being far too stubborn. Couldn’t she see he was trying? He got off the bed and headed towards the door, he was tempted to leave as he shut the light off, he had even opened the door. But he stopped, he had told himself that he’d stay for her. A little gesture like he’d just done wouldn’t be enough for anyone. Closing the door, he went back to the bed and laid beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He felt her stiffen in his arms.

“Now what’re you doing?” she asked, perturbed.

“Holding you.” It wasn’t the first time he’d done this, she knew what he was doing.

“Why?”

“I want to.”

“You’re not getting anything.”

“This is all I want.”

He heard her sigh in frustration, but she didn’t protest any longer. Soon after, he could tell she fell asleep. Her body relaxed and her breathing grew lighter. He knew it well. That had always been when he slipped out of bed and left her. This time though, he just laid there with her in his arms, listening to her soft breathing. It was the first time he had ever really done it. He found it strangely soothing. He found quite a lot about her soothing, actually. He really did find himself greatly enjoying her company. It was going to be a real shame when she did actually die.

…She was going to die. Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, maybe not for years and years from now, but she would. And those years will be nothing, they’ll be here and gone before he knew it. He felt a chill through his body. The woman he held in his arms would be no more. He’d never be able to see the face he grew to find stunning or see that beautiful smile, he’d never hear her soft laughter or when she really laughed and did little snorts, something that had made him smile and laugh as well…He’d never feel her silken hair or her soft, warm body against his, he’d never hear the soothing sound of her voice calling his name…He’d never see the woman he had fallen in love with.

Love…? Was this what love was? This sick feeling deep in his gut when he just thought of her, that fear that coursed through his entire being at just the idea of losing her? If it was, he didn’t like it. But he didn’t want to lose it either. That feeling, as horrible as it seemed at the moment, was something special. Something he never thought he’d have. He had to cherish every second of it.

Squeezing her tightly, he pulled her even closer to his body and took in her scent…When did she start smelling so sweet? Why hadn’t he ever noticed it? Despite spending so much time with her, there was so much he had missed out on. Or rather ignored. He wasted so much time…He regretted it so much. He couldn’t let her go. Never. Not now, not years from now. He wasn’t even going to let death itself take her from him…

“Hey.” He could hear her soft voice.

“Sebastian.” She sounded worried, then started shaking him. Slowly, he opened his eyes, she was leaning over him, a look of concern on her face as she shook him. Had he fallen asleep? When she saw he was awake, she gave a relieved sigh and sat back.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yes.” He replied, staring right at her. Had she always looked this beautiful?

“I’ve never seen you sleep and you weren’t waking up…”

“I’m sorry I worried you.” He reached up and caressed her cheek gently. She turned her head away, not wanting the touch. She was still mad.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to peel your carcass off of the bed.”

While many may have found that offensive, he knew she was just being stubborn, it made him laugh.

“I’ll be sure to die on the floor if it happens.”

“I’d prefer it be outside. Won’t have to deal with anything then. The animals will take care of it.”

“I’ll do that then.” He smiled softly then noticed she was in her work uniform.

“You’re leaving already?” he asked. She only put it on as she was leaving the house.

“Already? It’s my normal time to leave.”

“But I’ve barely seen you.”

“Not my fault you slept like that.” She stood and headed for the door.

“Try to have a good day.” He said, sitting up. She didn’t say anything, but did glance back before walking out the door.

“I love you!” he called out to her, but never got a reply. He heard the front door close. How many times had he said that to her? More than he could ever count. Except now, he knew he actually meant it. There was no doubt that the love had been there for a long time and he never noticed, never knew. Now that he realized it, he had to prove to her it was true, that he did truly love her. It’d be difficult, but he was determined to do it.


End file.
